Torn

WOW i just feel so weird right now i feel like crying n laughing n just feeling how beautifully ironic life is right now. I should be working on hw for business writing and on my final project for info.systems yet here i am. i have this feeling of just being lost n not knowing really where to turn. What to do. I kno ii will get my work done n i will finish this semester. but something has got to change i feel it inside my heart n my soul is telling me.
Honestly i dont kno what to change where to go. And as honest goes i havent been happy in such a long time. Truely happy i forget how it feels. How it feels to wake up n just feel at peace with ur life. I've just been alive n not living. I say its cuz i'm alone but even if i'm talking to a person n i'm happy for the moment eventually it just goes away and honestly who wants to be with someone who is broken in the inside. Yea thats how it is i feel torn n a bit broken on the inside.
Also theres the fact most of the ppl i have let get close to me have hurt me or just let my life. So now i have these walls up n every time i wanna let someone in really get to kno the real me i'm so scared n i just stop or change the subject or act like theres nothing wrong.
I honestly dont kno wht to do should i just keep drying to fix it myself, should i get professional help....or do nothing???