What path leads to love?

So things with Griffin is well but now he is in Brazil for the holidays n i barely get to talk to him n well u kno wht they say when their out of sight out of mind n i feel it slowly goin away but idk he's still a possiblity

Swedish Mike is in Sweden to spend the holidays with his fam n even though i kno tht in late january is is goin to granada from med school i cant help be feel tht connection we have especial because he has had everythign i look for in a guy yet there he is goin before we get to see if it could happen and though we both didnt want to get attached to one another it is happening.

Marcuantonio wants to come back into my life after all the bullshit he put me through n i'm kinda giving him the chance to fix things even though i'm making it really hard. I'm scared i'm making a stupid choice by doing this.

I have all these n more guys talking to me n stuff yet i still feel alone at times n i'm scared to truely let any of them in because i dont wanna get hurt again. My friend's mom tells me i'm young n should date n not commit to someone but even as i date i wanna find tht one person i can be with even if it doesnt last for ever but i want to be with just one person.

I want to find a man that is passionate about his goal in his life as well as his woman, who is caring n loving, responsible n respectful, understanding, compassionate, who can be fun, goofy n carefree as well as be strong n assuring, a man that can see me with all my falws n weakness n love n accept them as he loves n accepts my beauty n strengths

Mind Games

well i think i just scared the guy i like away as i usually do. havent spoken to him since monday and yea i understand he's busy because i am too but he's online alot of the time yet he can't im me or even bother to respond to my ims and/or text messages. so really i feel lost yet again.
Anyone see a reaccurign theme in this postings. I'm pretty stressed with school but i also want to be with someone and i guess i come on too strongly. i just hate to be left out in the cold and its a bit awkward because whts the point. so yea kinda wanna just give up but i dont cuz i like him but i dont wanna play games.

UGH I THINK I COMPLICATE THINGS MORE CUZ I THINK TOO MUCH!!!

Torn

WOW i just feel so weird right now i feel like crying n laughing n just feeling how beautifully ironic life is right now. I should be working on hw for business writing and on my final project for info.systems yet here i am. i have this feeling of just being lost n not knowing really where to turn. What to do. I kno ii will get my work done n i will finish this semester. but something has got to change i feel it inside my heart n my soul is telling me.
Honestly i dont kno what to change where to go. And as honest goes i havent been happy in such a long time. Truely happy i forget how it feels. How it feels to wake up n just feel at peace with ur life. I've just been alive n not living. I say its cuz i'm alone but even if i'm talking to a person n i'm happy for the moment eventually it just goes away and honestly who wants to be with someone who is broken in the inside. Yea thats how it is i feel torn n a bit broken on the inside.
Also theres the fact most of the ppl i have let get close to me have hurt me or just let my life. So now i have these walls up n every time i wanna let someone in really get to kno the real me i'm so scared n i just stop or change the subject or act like theres nothing wrong.
I honestly dont kno wht to do should i just keep drying to fix it myself, should i get professional help....or do nothing???